capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sext me about skeletons
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
