Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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