dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
