if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
