Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
