:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
