We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
