My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need a beard to bite.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
