Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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