You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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