he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
