were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
