Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
