This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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