It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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