She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
