She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
