I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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