oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
