I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize