I hope mine doesn't look like that
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
