Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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