So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
why is half of my head shaved?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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