I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
