Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
