Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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