Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize