You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He did a backflip because drugs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
