Buhtt sex?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
