this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
