you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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