She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
