i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
