Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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