Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
