They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
