can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
