i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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