All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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