he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
