So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
