Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
