I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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