toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
