I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
