EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
