everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
