you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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