The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think I just sharted jello shots
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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