i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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