I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
