the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
