Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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