so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
