I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
