Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
