I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
