Your face is a jimmy john
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
