she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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