So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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