I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
