Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she peed on how many people?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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