Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
