how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
