i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
