Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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