ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize