margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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