Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
