dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
