dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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