One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
