I checked into jail on foursquare
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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