Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it glows. i had to have it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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