evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
barbara walters just said penis...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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