I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
