he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
